Couple's Therapy & EFT
Are you feeling alone in your relationship?
Having the same fights over and over again?
Feeling like you just can’t talk to or be heard by your partner?
Many couples come to therapy because they have tried to solve these problems without success. They often feel that they just can’t communicate with their loved one and feel stuck in a never ending struggle of fights or emotional distance.
Our society tends to view independence as a virtue. If you don’t need another to feel whole and thrive it means you are a truly strong person. The fact is that research is now showing us a very different picture. In fact, having a significant other that you feel sure is really there for you can make not only the stressors we face more bearable, but empower you to achieve more by reaching out more boldly in the world. Having a secure relationship with a significant other enhances both physical and emotional well-being. This concept of secure attachment is now understood to not only signify a successful relationship but to be a necessary part of our survival from cradle to grave.
What is Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT)?
I've been a practitioner of EFT since 2004. I'm passionate about this work because I've seen its positive results first-hand. EFT has been well researched, showing 70-75% positive outcomes of full recovery and 90% showing significant improvement. More importantly, these outcomes have been shown to remain stable in 2 year follow-ups.
EFT’s goals are to create and restore close emotional bonds in our most important relationships. Emotional bonding (attachment) is one of our deepest human instincts and a basis for our survival. Feeling safe with and mattering to our significant others is a cornerstone of how we see ourselves and how we relate and connect to the world around us.
Based on the work of Dr. Susan Johnson and Dr. Leslie Greenberg, EFT seeks to examine what underlies the negative
behaviors and communication patterns that couples and families sometime get stuck in through the perspective of unmet attachment needs. From this lens we can begin to understand behaviors that look provocative, negative or irrational as we see it in terms of our partner’s best efforts to get their needs for connection and closeness met. If we learn to move in ways that create safe attachments (bonds), we find a fountain of strength that allows us to work successfully on our deepest problems.